November 01, 2004 - 14:04
I've been meaning to write about this ages ago but somehow I keep forgetting about this. It's actually about my best male friend when I was in Shah Alam. We were close but not like gitu2 punya close and just before we flew to the US he actually hinted that he liked me as more than friend. And as usual...dgn mulut2 kepoh, org sudah bising bahawasanya we all ni was a couple. We each other knew that we were just friends. Truly, I just couldn't imagine him as more than a best friend. I admit, he had all the criteria that I would have hoped for in a guy but friend is just a friend...not more than that. At the same time, I was so afraid that if I really told him off I would lose him as a best friend or even just friend. So, I kept on saying that I was not ready for all those things and I was still young to think about it. He kept waiting for me, still being there for me whenever I needed the opposite gender's words of advise, and even attended my graduation ceremony with a Guess watch as a gift. It was actually a surprise since he didn't mention to me at all that he was coming. He came over with one of our friends, driving for more than 5 hrs to arrive to my place. And he stayed over right until I was off to London before I went back to Malaya. That was 7 years ago and I was not in touch with him eversince. I sent him my wedding invitation to his parent's home and he should know that I am now married. All this while, I was still thinking about him, not for the wrong reason, but I was wondering where he is and what he does. To the readers, don't worry...my hubby knows about this and he actually has met him but in a group la...just senyum2 gitu2 je. no borak2 or sembang2 since we both felt awkward really. I knew how he felt at that time but it was a coincidence that all of us met. Ironically, a few months back, I did ask my hubby if it was okay if either of us got in touch with any of our so called 'old flame'. Being so cool he said that it is okay with him as long as he knows everything about it and there is nothing that I hide.Okaaayyyy...errr, was actually surprise with his reply as I will actually be the opposite...hehe. Biasa le tu...pompuan kan. Anyway...I did ask my old friends about H *my best friend* and neither knew what happened to him. But, a month ago somebody actually got traced of his email address and I actually have it with me right now. My hands are very itchy to drop him some line tapi I keep restraining myself from doing so. I would be much happier if I know that he leads his life well and is now married. At least I know that he has met someone and hopefully has forgotten about me. But, I'll never know until I write something to him, won't I? On second thoughts, maybe I should just leave it as the way it is now; me, knows nothing about him and he, knows nothing about me. Maybe it's for the best kan...and most importantly for making sure that I won't hurt another heart.
